Simplicity

Right before I turned 40, I walked away from dance as I knew it, as well as full-time employment with one of the arts colleges in Singapore.  The reasons for those choices were simple.

1.  I did not want to turn 40 in a leotard.
2.  I wanted to have the space to make my own work again.  But because I didn't want to be stuck in a leotard, I gave myself the challenge of exploring my choreographic voice, via the written word instead.

I wrote a book.  I turned 40.  The book got published.  It brought me immense joy.  My publisher said- write some more.  So I wrote another book.  And now I am turning 43 in a few days.

Somewhere in the 40s, in the midst of writing, I felt finally, I have arrived at a place, I have longed for.  That is, a place of simplicity.  I love this way of living.  In my dance and writing, I am always trying to write, make something that touches, but in the most simple of ways.  It's not easy to do.

Towards the end of my Singapore life, my days became very simple, unencumbered.  I met an incredible horse.  I met a wonderful teacher.  I pottered around the second book for a while, I took care of my family, I walked my dogs, I hung out with lovely girls, I watched my daughter grow up.

The Incredible Horse

Relocating to London was unexpected, but researched and planned for, once the decision was made.  There has been some tricky days, and some unexpected reverse culture shock. Yesterday the weather changed, the grey returned with clouds and a balmy breeze.  Many people love the sun, but I love the rain and all that grey.  

Energised by the grey, Bruno and I hiked up to Angel again.  We had a lovely time browsing, and came home with heavy bags.  I felt grateful that finally my London life had taken on a similar sense of simplicity.

Simple basic cell for London (L), Simple basic cell for Singapore (R)

Today, K and Buster visit us, and we spend a lovely afternoon drinking, eating, drinking, chatting, walking the dogs, and chatting some more.

The horse patrol even visited my street- I hope I meet a horse here soon.

At the park, we find a carousal and a bench.  We collapse with laughter, and walked some more.

Simplicity.

Sexual Harassment & Girlfriends

If Bruno was not here with me, I think I would simply go, mad.

Last night at 9pm, on his last walk, and as the sky was still bright, we took a longer walk around another block.  There is a beautiful street here, Pembridge- the houses are stately, the road is wide, the trees are lush.  I felt the wariness of the day lift as we strolled along, Bruno happily sniffing, while I admired the architecture.

Waiting to cross a junction, there were two cars that seemed to be engaged in some dialogue.  One sped off.  Bruno and I waited, patiently.  The other car pulled up, the driver stuck his head out the window and shouted all kinds of obscene things at us, and with his free hand made obscene gestures repeatedly.

I did a very Chinese Singaporean thing.  I simply averted my eyes and crossed the street.  If I am going to be run down on Pembridge by an asshole, so be it.

Come to think of it, some traits, like harassment, are universal.

Like, the ability to avert one's gaze.  A lot of people do this here.  In America, people look at you for the most part, directly.  Service greets you with a smile, looks you straight in the face, and say- Hi, how are you?  My name is _____  Please let me know how I may help you.  These days, as I am trying to decipher inertia, I really really miss that kind of energy.  Of course, in some cultures, forwardness, or casual-ness is rude.  Here, like in the more traditional Asian cultures,  it is about manners, stiff upper lip, and being polite.  So most people don't smile much here, and many people look away.

I can look away but I cannot get rid of the thumping in my chest, or the feeling of being violated.  It is not a nice feeling to carry with you at the end of the day.  When I tuck Bruno in, I shut not only the windows, but the shutters up front as well.  Never mind that it is an unusually hot summer, and there is no AC, no fan, in the flat.  I think to myself, better I go to bed sweltering, than have some crazy man climb in and rape me in my sleep.

There were four of us that came in 1987 to dance at the RAD Summer School.  We were all so excited to come.  For me the reality and pleasure of daily dancing was the most exciting part of the trip.

11pm in London is 6am in Singapore.  My husband is still asleep.  But the uber multi-tasking moms in Singapore, Adelaide, and Los Angeles are wide awake.  On Facebook, they rally around me.  My young, sweet London friend J is also awake still, and shares her own story of racial slurs and harassment.

Remember when we were in Covent Gardens and that car pulled up and what all the boys in the car shouted at us?  (Paraphrasing Trace).

Yes.  I remember.

Life is like that sometimes.  Sometimes people say incomprehensible things that sting.  In the aftermath of being harassed, the wise woman surrounds herself with the love of Girlfriends.  Never underestimate the power of Girlfriends.

The boys shouted- You fucking Chinks, go home, go fucking home, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

But that's all they did. Shout.  In 1987, we were seventeen, there were four of us.  We did not pay them any attention.  We walked on briskly, our heads held high.  We watched our backs.  We watched each other.

Daycare and Dongles

This is a Dongle.  Before today, I've never experienced one ever in my life.  I'm not sure if I'm even spelling it correctly.

This is Daycare.  Bruno went to daycare today.  For a 1st day, the administrator said he was very good.  He shy-ed away when the dogs played rough (as he does in Singapore), he slept a little, he tried playing with another skittish dog.

While Bruno was at daycare, I picked up an iron, an electric kettle, a dish-drying rack, went to a proper grocery store.  Then I ran out of hands, went back home, vacuumed and mopped, and then attempted opening a bank account, and headed to O2 to buy the dongle.  Without a local bank account, I can't get internet services provided.  So my London friend K and my husband did some research, and found a Plan B- the dongle.

The neighborhood O2 store said I could only buy the dongle on the "pay-as-you-go" plan from their store at Oxford Street.  There are only so many hours in one morning, I ended up getting a London cell phone instead.  Soon it was time to pick Bruno up.

Along with delivery and bank, Oxford Street is also in my book of Dirty British Words.  I like Oxford Street as much as say, Orchard Road in Singapore.  These are streets I try to avoid because I really like being a happy person :) :) :)

Poor Bruno and I had to get on the tube westbound to Bond Street.  When I got to the O2 store there?  I was told, after waiting for about 30 minutes, that they were out of stock.  The dragon attempted a gentle roar-  Please would you call the nearest O2 store and check if they have that in stock, and if they do, to please hold one for me?  I'll head there, NOW.

Reply-  Sorry, I can't do that, because nobody will pick up the phone.

Fair enough.  (???!!!???!!!#$^@!)

Bruno and I stepped back into the horror of Oxford Street.  At the Vodafone store, the salesperson showed me a dongle- hooray- and was just about to sell it when his colleague said-
You can't sell it to her, it's our last piece.

And said- No, we can't call our other branch for you because we don't have their number.  Oh, Miss?  Can I take a picture of your dog?

???!!!@@@!!!!  :)

At T-Mobile a few stores down, they just received stock of the latest 4G dongles- (like I really know what that means).  More importantly, I can actually buy one from them, like right that moment!  

I'm sorry, Madame, we don't take visa.

You Don't Take Visa?  On Oxford Street?

Then the Dragon remembered, this morning at the bank, she could not open a bank account (Your name is Wong Ling Tamatha on your passport, but on the water bill, it states Tamatha Wong, so you are not Tamatha Wong, but Wong Ling Tamatha, and I cannot open a bank account for you without a verified British address), but damn it, she managed to change the last of her old 20-pound notes to new ones.  And if Bruno can express patience, calm, beauty, with all the madness around him, and make it through Day 1 of Daycare in this land unscathed, so can she.

Moving Day

Bruno was a bit worried when he saw me pack this morning.  To calm him down, I put him in The Pod.

We checked out, found a cab easily (HOHOHOHO!), and off we went through the park.

When things are more settled, I think I would like to explore the park with Bruno.  From what little I could see, I liked the bits that appeared untamed, rambling.

Bruno stayed calm as I unpacked the rest of our stuff.  The whole day seemed to just unfold in a very gentle manner, without any fanfare.

We found very yummy pad thai for 5 pounds, a mop, and a new bucket.  At 3pm, Bruno had an appointment with the neighborhood vet.

By now of course, poor Bruno is a seasoned patient, not even fussing when the vaccination for kennel cough was administered up his nose.

I re-learnt an old lesson today- the value of hard work and preparation.  Sometimes in life, there are just no short-cuts.  I walked into the flat, and felt we had come, home.  Everything was in its rightful place, awaiting.  There are still bits and bobs to be completed.  But for now, I am basking in the solace and stillness of home.  All the relentless work done in the last two weeks has brought us to this place.  I think I'll remain here for a while.

(Pad Thai for 5.x pounds can be found at Banana Tree, 21- 23 Westbourne Grove)

Never Too Late

At close to midnight Singapore time, my husband sends me a text to say, Goodnight, I love you, thank you for-  
I reply, Love you back, nite, nite, Baby, pls find out what time Mungo and Maud on Ledbury closes today?

A perk of Long Distance Marriage-  it's never ever too late to ask.

After vacuuming the flat in preparation for tomorrow's move, Bruno and I head on over to Mungo and Maud as the Good Man replied that it closes at 6pm today.  That gave us 30 minutes.

I get Bruno a new collar (his current one is too loose, he has daycare looming).  I give in and get him The Pod.

The Pod!

Confession- I have been obsessing secretly about The Pod!  I have not bought it because as my family keeps telling me, surely Bruno has more than enough bags at this point in his life  (yes :( ).  And I have not bought it all this while because I feel really bad about buying the Tumi Alpha Carrier.

My husband is a wonderful man- Look, let me just speed post his Cube.  It is much cheaper for me to do that than to buy this "pod"...

The Cube came yesterday.  But the straps were not included.  So I cannot carry Bruno in the Cube.

Today, after all that excitement and flat-cleaning, I caved in.  Bruno has been super without his bag- he has been terrific with all the walking and we've figured out a cooperative balancing act on public transport.  But now that there is The Pod?  I should have done this sooner!  Once Bruno jumped in?  He didn't want to come out!

Never mind that it is 80 degrees today and there is poor ventilation in the bus.  Look at him below, smiling away on Bus 70!!!

When he decides to have some alone time, he simply lies down in The Pod.

Originally I was also not convinced by its length- I thought it needed to be shorter like the Cube.  But now, I am seeing the virtue of its added length, as Bruno gets to stretch out as well as curl up.  And when he decides he's curious, he sits up and gazes out the window happily.  Here he is, at Queens Gate.

There's an added safety feature where you can buckle onto his collar.

No regrets on my part.  It's a hardy bag, with clean lines, in a very understated color that matches my floors.  It's also not too heavy to lug around.  The base has feet, it distributes weight evenly, and there is an added (detachable) cushion within.  With The Pod by my side literally, in crowded situations, I know exactly where he is now, and not have to worry about him being trampled upon.

Multi-functions as a resting place even back at the hotel.  Lesson learnt- sometimes, it's just never too late.  

Roaring & Rolling

I'm on a roll!  This morning we go to The Holding Company (241-245 King's Road) www.theholdingcompany.co.uk, a short bus ride from the hotel.  Fred and Stephanie were a great help.

Fred-  How would you like all this to be delivered?

I'm going to hail a cab.  
Put as much as you can into the basket, don't bother packing it up.  Please would you help me carry everything to the sidewalk?  
Cue to throw in a winning smile!

I stand on King's Road with Bruno cradled in one arm.  Then the New Yorker from last century took me by surprise.  Before I could even think, I waved across to the opposite lane and roared- TAXI!

(OMG.  I can't believe I just did that.)

The taxi halts, traffic piles up, the driver sticks his head out and says- "I'm coming, I'm coming!", and does a crazy u-turn in the height of the afternoon, and all I can do is try not to dissolve into fits of manic laughter.

Action scene at the back of a London cab.

When we get to the flat, the driver jumps out, opens the door for me, and says- "I'll help you, Miss!"

Are you sure?  I can do it.

"Let me help you, Miss!"

I beam at him.  He carries the rails, and the filled basket up to the front door.  I carry the toilet rack thingy.  I thank him profusely.  He lifts his arm, Goodbye.  Then I see that he has carried everything for me, with the only arm that he has.  I catch my breath.  I think, God just sent me an angel.

When I enter the shared hallway of the building I will be living in, another sight greets me.

Everything my husband ordered on my behalf from The White Company www.thewhitecompany.co.uk on that melt-down Saturday, only three days ago, is here!  Not only are they here, a neighbor whom I have yet to meet, had to sign for them- ah, the kindness of strangers!

Look closely- even Bruno is smiling!

 If that man with only one arm, could do a kamakazi u-turn, and carry two heavy items with one arm up a flight of stairs, what excuse have I got?  I felt so humbled by his help that I cheerfully pranced up two flights- whistle while you work!

The pillows came, the shower curtain came, the hooks, the bath towels, kitchen linen, bath mats, all came.  Even the heart-shapped wooden boards for slicing/serving cheese/sushi/fruit came.

And as I am whistling and working, John Lewis www.johnlewis.co.uk delivers the vacuum cleaner!!!

I know, I know what God is teaching me now.  It has to do with what Trace said.  Trace said:

1.  You are Flexible.

2.  But with age, we become less flexible (paraphrasing here).

I 've been mulling over what Trace said.  Here's what I've learnt in the last few days:

I refuse to age into an old, inflexible woman.  I don't want my body, my mind, nor my spirit to become rigid, and set in a concrete pattern.  So the only way to combat that is, with the daily practice of stretching exercises tossed my way.  And that is what God is teaching me.

In the Evening

In the evening, I received a package.  My husband sent Bruno's Sturdi Cube!  Bruno was so happy to see it, he was actually impatient when I was assembling it together.  Once it was fixed, he hurried in, showing off the"inside" command, without even being told.

I also received a surprise birthday note, handwritten by Summie.

What is it about a handwritten note that makes you feel a loved one's touch?

Energised by my family and the stirred Dragon, I decided to take advantage of the cooler evening air, and the late sunset, to get on with moving our things into the flat.

Bruno the World Traveler.  Ready, set- GO!

Pack and unpack, unpack and pack.  When I saw that I had remembered a set of kitchen rags from Singapore, I felt a huge boost of adrenaline within me.  I think God is reminding me that the most important thing I need to cope in any city, is that I can just be myself.

Ahem.  Riddle of the closet (below) has also been solved with characteristic style,  and humor.    Improvisation- my middle name.

We make it back to Number 16 by 9pm. 

Good night, Everybody.  More adventures, tomorrow.