Year of the Horse

The last thing he did for me, was hang the painting up.  Each time I glance across the room, I can now almost conjure him, standing on the ladder, hammer and nail in hand, his voice saying, Wherever you think is best, Baby.

We had a wonderful holiday season.  On new year's eve, I went riding in Richmond Park, encountering wind, rain, deers, deers, deers.  My thigh cramped.  I walked funny into the new year.

photo credit- Royal Parks

Chinese people like celebrating with good food, friends and family. 

So it was back to my favorite London restaurant for new year's eve, with K.  K then invited us over for New Year's Lunch.  She stunned me so with her fusion cooking (vegetable curry, beef goulash, wakame salad, rice), that for dinner on January 1, I was inspired to go the extra mile with udon and an improvised gado gado (Malay/Indonesian Salad).

On his last night, I stayed awake listening to his breath rise and fall.  In the morning, I present a calm, smiling face as my daughter is home.  But by noon, at Heathrow, my face is curled, crumpled.  I am a mess.

It's the year of the horse, and I am married to a man born, a horse.

I know a few things about horses.

photo credit-  Mel Tan

The horse knows you better than you know yourself, even when meeting for the very first time.  

The horse is a being of few words.  What he has to say is expressed in action and sometimes missed in the most subtle of gestures.

Once you meet a horse, it is almost impossible to fathom living without one, never mind escalating costs, public transportation, and bad weather.

photo credit- The Straits Times

The riddle that has been bothering me-  why was it so much easier to do long-distance before marriage, when the marriage was young?  Why do I find it so much harder these days when the marriage reminds me of a tree?

 A dancer (even in retirement), born in the year of a dog, in love with the horse, does not allow herself to slide into inactivity and too much sadness.

So on the 3rd day of the new year, right after he left, I reassembled the Sturdi Bag, and reintroduced it to Bruno Chan.

On the 4th day, I researched pet import laws in Germany, France, the UK and Singapore.

On the 5th day, I zipped Bruno up in the Sturdi Bag and reintroduced last year's Boot Camp with a hike through the cold.

Ssshh, sshh, Horse.  Baby, don't you worry.  We are coming home.