Writing Purgatory

The early bird catches the worm!  Make hay while the sun shines!

In other words, I have been stumbling since Sunday, in Writing Purgatory.

Dear God, please help me.  I promise to eat my carbs...

She gives me her research paper for reading and re-reading.  I comb through it and send it back to her for writes and re-writes.  I tell her, that's just the way good writing is- there are no shortcuts.  Rewrites, edits- the process is tedious and possibly, not fun.

Worse, I have to curb my writing instincts and learn to think in a more "British" fashion.  Especially when it came to reading her Personal Statement for UCAS.  I sprouted a migraine.  Hell, I think I even sprouted horns.  Because today, I made her cry.

Arrrgh.  Bad Mommy!!!  Arrgh!  British-style Writing!!!

Back in the day, all I did was lug her around everywhere I went- to work, to play.  We've even crossed continents with my work.  I'd set her up in a corner of the studio with her toys, her books, a snack, a meal, something to drink.  Sometimes we packed her blankie for her to rest.

As she got older, we packed homework along.  She liked her pencils in a row, and her calculator powered up.

 Once when she was about nine, she asked me why I bothered working so hard.  She compared me to X, a woman of extreme leisure.  I told her then, as I tell her now, because women CAN work, and because I want to teach you and show you, what it means to be a woman exploring her potential, through work.

And then there are the essay prompts for College Applications to the US.  I read through what's required, what's suggested, and I think to myself, damn guns, gangs, ghettos, state and federal taxes, the constant bickering of republicans and democrats, earthquake, fire, smog, traffic on the 405 and 101.  Because if life paves a way for her to receive an American tertiary education instead of a British one, I would move us, in a jiffy.

Consider-  "Little pigs, french hens, a family of bears.  Blind mice, musketeers, the fates.  Omne trium perfectum?  Create your own group of threes and describe why and how they fit together."

As opposed to-  "the Personal Statement should analyse your experiences and skills and relate them to the course or subject."

Or my favourite-  "In the sprit of adventurous inquiry, pose a question of your own.  If your prompt is original and thoughtful, then you should have little trouble writing a great essay.  Take a little risk, and have fun."

Then she asks if she can apply as an undeclared major for school A,

School A

                                      but apply to study human biology/pre-med at school B.

School B

                                                    Ah, the great American way- options!

Surely, I tell her, beaming.

Late afternoon she shows me more writing work.  

A fog lifts from within me.  My headache dissipates.  

We just have to keep plodding on- mother and daughter, every step of the way.  One day, we'll get her there, where she can and will and must, finally walk alone.