The Meadows

Every morning in Edinburgh, Bruno and I take a walk through The Meadows.

There's great architecture on the fringes of the park.

There is a sign pointing in the direction of the Union Canal.  I think if we keep walking towards that, we just might find, the Water of Leith.

One day, if we ever return, I hope to climb Arthur's Peak with Brunz.

Arthur's Peak, as seen from the grounds of Prestonfield's last fall.

For now, we'll just hang out on lower ground, enjoy the

 sheer expanse of green, and the absence of tourists.

The Meadows, Melville Drive, Edinburgh, Midlothian, EH9 9EX

An Aberdeen Hour

Today's journey began early.

Psst, Bruno?  Wake up...

Aberdeen is a 2.5 hour ride from Edinburgh.  We passed towns with exotic names- Arborath, Dundee.    The train sped along rolling hills, deep woods, and the coast.  I stayed awake, entrapped by the ocean.  I think it's the North Sea...

photo credit- SC

We had two appointments in Aberdeen.  We had return tickets on the evening train.  We found the bus- stop off Merchant Street, and it was there, while waiting for our bus, that I read increasing dismay and great reluctance on my daughter's face.

The nature cradling Aberdeen is stunning.  But the town even on a weekday lunch hour felt desolate, grim, grey. 

We weighed our options.  We decided to cancel the appointments and head back on the next available train to Edinburgh instead.

We bought take-out sushi and soda.  I returned missed texts, and spoke briefly to Jon.  It was dinner time in Singapore, and the Chans were celebrating my FIL's 80th birthday.

On another continent, a remarkable human being and artist passed away.

photo credit- SC

We spent an hour instead of a day, in Aberdeen.  I tell Summie I'm glad we made the trip up north, north, north. I think adventure/research is about discovery, and discovery is about defining what matters most, and clarifying who we are.  

It's good we came!  How else will we know?  Besides, I get to spend quality time with you!  

Summie is silent, thinking, thinking.

When she speaks, she says- Thank you, Mom.  Thank you.  

Then she says these magical words loudly- 

 Mom?  I'm really excited about my future!

And I think-

"...it's the fire in my eyes,

and the flash of my teeth,

the swing in my waist,

and the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me."                      

-  Maya Angelou

Day 3, Edinburgh

I wonder if I could live in Edinburgh.

photo credit- SC

I'm repeating myself.  But the city is rather hypnotic, too handsome for words.  Arthur's Peak, the castle, cobble-stoned streets that twist and turn, and oh the encompassing ocean.  

Every morning, I awake with the desire to walk and walk, get lost, get found.  Bruno and Summie are game.  But there's a little problem.

My traveling champ draws too much attention.

(GROAN.)

There's a dog on her lap!  He's wearing a jumper!  He's eating at the table!

(GROAN!)

I have been thoroughly spoilt by Paris.  I'm not comfortable with this sort of attention at all.  I really prefer invisibility in any city.  

No such luck here.

Is that really a dog?  What's his name?  Where are you from?  Are you Japanese?  Say that again, you sound so posh!

(GROAN, GROAN, GROAN!)

Dogs are not allowed at Harvey Nicholas, but not unwelcome at Topshop.

Waiting for Summie at Topshop

  In New Town, we had lunch at Bon Vivant, 55 Thistler Street.  Back on Holyrood, Bruno was offered a bowl of water.

There are bus-loads of tourists- Japanese, Chinese, Americans.

The Japanese wear matching hats.  The Chinese huddle and hunch.  The Americans ask the strangest of questions- Does the College (University) provide every student with an iPad?

Above this din, I hear the hymn of bagpipes sung.  

Monday Musing (Location- Edinburgh)

                                                 Hachiko did X.  Greyfriars Bobby did Y.

                                                      Angel is excellent at Zzzzzzs.

Bruno Chan?  Oh.  Bruno Chan is an insane traveler.

At King's Cross.  Ready, get set, go!

It's half-term break for Summie.  We are in Edinburgh for a few days of research and rest.

En route up, our train chugged and halted.  The journey took much longer, Bruno remained patient.

At Waverly Station, the rain was heavy, too many of us needing a taxi, with none in sight.  I called our hotel for help, and learnt that in this city,  if there is a taxi rank (there was one), I cannot arrange for a taxi pick-up.

Edinburgh is a magical city.  The architecture, the terrain, the history- everything collides and spirals away.

The Scottish are warm, welcoming.  But everywhere we go, Bruno causes a stir.

What Is That?  There's a dog in her bag!

What a strange dog!  I didn't realise she had a dog!

At Hotel du Vin, breakfast is kindly arranged for us in the Whiskey Room(!) as dogs are not allowed in the restaurant.

At The Holyrood 9a, we shared our table with a party of five, who kept stealing glances at Bruno.

Incognito in Paris, Centerstage in Edinburgh.

A-wandering is a wonderful lesson of perspectives and the landscape of the human heart.

Hachiko did X.  Greyfriars Bobby did Y.  Angel is awesome at Zzzzs.

Bruno, oh Bruno.

New Season

I've turned the boiler off.  I think it's finally summer.

Which means my brain is trying to choreograph Fall 2015.

Unexpected, Unpleasant Events...

I surprised myself.  I actually felt unencumbered and calm through what was possibly a volatile week.  Every day I thought, well I know myself, I know my dog; I know what needs to be done, and just got on with things, cheerfully.

Sometime in my cheerful state, I found myself in conversation with, Kindness.

Kindness is all heart, all warmth.  Last night, she invited us to a celebration of sorts.

Kindness (L), Churchill (pug, R)

We met more dogs, more goodness...

Thank you, O!

Even Mr Unfriendly had a splendid time...

and didn't shy (fully) away from, socialising!

And then we had visitors!

Not just such a dear, dear friend, but she's also the Good Vet!

So my Thursday Lunch Table (sans MT) gathered in Soho, and again in Belgravia.

photo credit-  T

Once there were four girls who lost their hearts and heads to horses and hounds.

When the starts align, all four can be found, together, on horseback.

Kindness is leaving tomorrow, the Good Vet has left.  Summer is here, a season I don't particularly like.  But the generosity of strangers and the bonds of female friendship linger and lace.  Life is-  

Grand.

  

When the Bough Breaks

One of the things I do for work is, publicity.  Because my skin is so thick, and my humour is healthy, I'm actually pretty good at publicity, way better than say, grant-applicationS or kissing the correct ass.

You need publicity on your side if you want to get the audience excited about your work, fill a theatre, or sell a book.  At the beginning of my Singapore dance life, when I was trying to create a career for myself, I simply picked up the phone and (cold) called the newspapers, the magazines, the radio stations.  To anyone who would be kind enough to listen, oblige me with a blurb, I rattled quickly, and on occasion, unabashedly, begged.

***
The second book I wrote was published last year.  The book is titled, When The Bough Breaks.  It is the only project I have ever done in my life, that I have not bothered activating the publicity machine for.  I suspect the sales are possibly dismal compared to the first book, and all the other dance projects that have come before.

photo credit- The Arts House

I didn't bother with publicity for this book then, simply because, the book was very difficult to write.  When it was finally completed, it took everything from me.  When it was finally published, and launched, I felt immense satisfaction that this project was finished- I did it, I did it, it's done, it's really done.   And somehow, that was enough for me.

photo credit-  Ethos Books

Friends and family came to the launch.  Everything was kept almost deliberately low-key.  The evening was memorable, and an artist/man/my ex-boss whom I adore, facilitated the evening.

He also offered invaluable feedback during the writing process.
photo credit-  Ethos Books

My publisher had suggested I write a book about my dancing life.  Then there was the other unwritten  Elizabeth Choy story, the original transcript which first drew his attention.

So I went away to write.

  And when I finished, I gave my publisher an unexpected manuscript that laced both the dance story with that of Mrs Choy.  I wasn't sure how it would be received.

His emailed reply was, "Tammy, lovely."

He then left me alone for about a year to work on the book.

  Many things happened that year.  My dog Angel, nearly died.

                                          We faced an unexpected relocation to London.

The book was also celebrated by The Arts House.  Elizabeth Choy, Singapore's beloved war heroine, was their guest of honor, when the Arts House first opened its doors, ten years ago.  In celebration, my dancers and I, with guest artists S and J, returned on stage.

photo credit-  The Arts House

I love my second book.  It is truly one of my favourite projects to date.  It wasn't easy to write because some of the material is historical, weighty, dark.  The darkness frightened me.  The challenge then was facing the darkness with integrity, and to not be afraid of truthfulness; treating the subject matter, particularly Mrs Choy's experiences, with dignity.

It's also hard to write about historical events, many of us in contemporary times, may feel very divorced from.  So then the other challenge was, how on earth to address the Japanese Occupation for instance, and not lose the interest of the reader.

I'm talking about the book today because someone I have never met, sent me an Easter card, that Jon has just scanned from Singapore.  The person said some things that made me cry.

"The similarities I see in you and Mum were... fearless tenacity...you both dared to be different..

Mum had many visitors, local and overseas, especially in her last years...I remember her mentioning a few times that a beautiful young girl came to visit her...one who appears on tv and dances...

Thank you for so delicately and beautifully interweaving Mum's life into your biography.  Love to you and your daughter.

-  Lynette, on behalf of my sisters"

When the Bough Breaks, publisher Ethos Books, retails at SGD$20 (SGD$21.40 with GST)

can be purchased at Kinokuniya (Singapore), or on-line at www.ethosbooks.com.sg 

For more information, please see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfP9lqThN1c

While on The Honeymoon We Never Had...

Last week, Jon and I went on a lunch date that sort of evolved into the honeymoon (Trace's term/absolutely apt) we never had.

There was a tube strike in London.  Instead of returning to London on Tuesday as originally planned, Jon agreed to detour to Paris.

In Paris, he wanted to see the Arc de Triomphe,

and asked me to show him around my "new hood", the 6th.

Le Comptoir du Relais, 9 Carrefour de l' Odéon

 He humoured me by actually climbing up the Arc, and agreed to consider any whim I may have about relocating to Paris for a while.

THANKS, BABY!

So on this honeymoon, I learnt, that when you love somebody, you do things you never quite imagined, and that the things you do for love, spring spontaneously.

I also learnt, there is just no substitute for the passing of time.  I have given Jon my 20s, my 30s, and now, God-willing, my 40s.  It really takes time for love to root, blossom and branch.

In 1995, after the wedding celebrations, Jon took me to Thailand for three days.  There he said, Lets make a baby.  I spent those three days in utter bewilderment.  

In Paris, I look at Jon and think- gosh, how he didn't know me then, and how very well he knows me, now!

PHEW.  Jon Knows Me.

On this the honeymoon we never had, I learnt, my husband eats, snails!

                         And that he doesn't quite know how to share an umbrella.

Dinner Conversation:

Baby?  Why is your hair so wet?

Because you didn't cover me with the umbrella when we were walking in the rain.

I learnt, he is also not the sort to woo a girl.

Woo a girl?  Hmmm- what do you mean?!

You know, go in pursuit of.... Can't be bothered right?

Hmmm.  But you don't need to be woo-ed!

No, I'm not saying to woo me.  I'm just saying...

But to be fair to me, I did come to see you in NYC...

Oh.  So that's wooing for you?

Well, do you know how far it is to fly from Singapore to NYC?

I think the honeymoon ended when he folded and unfolded me in his arms at Heathrow.  I think God brought Jon into my life to humble me.  I think I have too much pride in solitude and the self, and God is saying, here is a good man who lets you be alone, but in his every departure, you are a mess.  I know God is teaching me through Jon, that love, only love, is patient.  That love, only love, is kind.  

You know something, God?  Love can also feel like a knife, or a sharp pin.  Incisive.  

For if you press a needle closely against skin, all you see is, red.