Cultural Divide & Good Cheer

24 days post-surgery, 14 days post-cast removal, 7 days since the start of the Chinese New Year and Mission Work Harder:

I can now, summon my elbow, to bend at 90 degrees!

And yet, the Voice of Doom says, "You're progress is still too slow.  Work harder."

!!!

I'm beginning to think there exists a great cultural divide between --- and myself.

I can take bad news and hard facts.  But I value, effective communication.  Half-listening to Doom, I wonder about empathy, about humour, about compassion.

Enter, from upstage left, The Cheerleading Team!

Trace-  He doesn't know you, lah!  

Daughter-  Never mind.  Slow and steady wins the race.  Stay positive!  You are doing GREAT, Mommy!

In the end our bodies will all go, but how you deal with this, is the legacy, the lesson you leave for her!  (Paraphrased.)

-  Trace

Mommy!  You are so clever at styling with an injury!

You look better than many people who don't even have a broken arm!

All through my waking hours, I repeat the exercises, bending, straightening, rotating, tirelessly.

When my arm gets too stiff, I add a heat pad.

I practise things I would teach in beginner ballet, to encourage some strength back. 

Note- still not able to supinate my palm fully, but at least I can lift my arm now.

A la Second...- My voice, ringing clearly, Hold your arms and your arms will hold you!

Think of the arms beginning from deep within the back, and fanning, reaching out!  Like wings of a bird in flight!

Quick pause, and then my punchline-  Class, like wings of a bird of prey!  Not a domestic bird!

Right on cue, every class I've said this to, always breaks into laughter.

Because don't we all need to laugh in learning and living?

photo credit- HOM, you can almost hear their laughter!

Why do, if it makes one so miserable?

Another cultural divide...

The only time I've formally studied Japanese was at college in Los Angeles, so imagine, my horror when the first thing the teacher did here at Japanese class in Singapore, was made us recite the hiragana alphabet, repeating about five times, after him!

44 years-old and rote learning?!!

a, i, u, e, o!  ka, ki, ku, ke, ko!  sa, shi, su, se, so!

Sensei-  Isshoni ittekudasai!

(Please say together!)

a, i, u, e, o!  ka, ki, ku, ke, ko!  sa, shi, su, se, so!

Sensei-  Shitsumon wa arimasuka?

(Do you have any questions?)

Sensei-  You reply, Arimasen.  

(None)

Sensei-  Wakarimasuka?

(Do you understand?)

Class-  Wakarimasu!

Sensei-  Jaa, mooichido itekudasai!

(Say it one more time!)

a, i, u, e, o!  ka, ki, ku, ke, ko! sa, shi, su, se, so!

I wonder if I can make it through the next two hours without staging a one-woman coup.  

It's hard looking down at the textbook.  The hiragana characters blur and float.  I shut my eyes, chanting along.  

a, i, u, e, o!  ka, ki, ku, ke, ko!  sa, shi, su...Sumimasen!

Sumimasen, Sensei!  Shitsumon ga arimasu!

(Excuse me, teacher!  I have a question!)

And just like that, like a lover from a past life, reappearing and enveloping me!

Tammy desu!  Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.  London ni, uma kara ochita, ude o otta!

(I'm Tammy.  Nice to meet you.  I fell off a horse in London.  I broke my arm.)

So, said the Ichi-ban (#1) Cheerleader in Civil Defense Uniform (Cultural shock #3!),

What did you say to the teacher when he asked you what happened to your arm?

I said I fell off a horse.

Huh, you didn't say it in Japanese?

Nope.

But why not?

He spoke to me in American.

No Pain, No Gain

New (Chinese) year, new rituals, new resolve-  "Work Harder"(Dr C)

1.  Heat Treatment/Home Therapy

 Soak towel in boiling water, wrap up that arm to warm the muscles up.

2a.   Get Help

When the arm is warmed up, Jon does an incredible job, kneading through scar tissue, swelling,  bruising, and pain.

We've been paying attention to the ligaments behind my elbow.  These were not torn during the fall, but they have bunched up and created a concrete-like wall, preventing flexion.  This wall and the atrophied biceps/triceps need attention.

2b.  Get More Help

After I am massaged, the real work begins.  Jon manipulates my arm, bringing it to 90 degrees, pushing into that wall of pain, and then reverses the action, stretching it as far down by my side as it can go.

3.  Mind Over Matter

I was very bothered by being told to work harder.  If anything, I've often been told by Popo, by teachers, to not work so hard.  Then I realised, even as I give myself a realistic time frame of (full) recovery (one year), I now have to work harder, race against time because it is in these early days that everything can easily be lost.

It's Chinese New Year... I thought of, foot binding.  It's not the binding that breaks and re-moulds the feet.  The bindings may place the feet in a desired shape, but the little girl has to then walk on her bound feet repeatedly in order to crush the bones of her feet.  Her flesh will die, her muscles will shrink, she will possibly even suffer gangrene.

What is a broken arm compared to that little girl's fate?

The only way forward, is to forcefully push my arm to 90 degrees, using his strength, lean into that pain.

At some point, the pain becomes a hum.  I have to just hang in that hum, breathe, and then repeat the exercises again and again.

4.  No Pain, No Gain

And then I force my arm to dance.  My objective is to not be afraid of moving an unyielding arm, and to move with the pain.

I am trying to remind my left arm what it feels like to bend.  That's all we got today.

Bend, rotate, unfold, backwards,

and in reverse.

The arm needs to remember it's attached to the torso.  It needs to remember, motion, speed, strength, flight.

The Things We Say

1.  Spice-  There is nothing to fear but fear itself... In the meantime, find a less dangerous activity to keep you occupied!

(Uh Oh.)

2.  Me-  It's not a hobby for me.  It's replaced the dancing...

3.  Dr C (2 weeks after surgery, 4 days without a cast)-  Work Harder.

(I have never in my whole life been told by anyone, to work harder!!!)

4.  Mayflower-  I want to know how you manage to get your arm cast into your dresses!

(Large armholes to twist, turn, and climb into)

5.  Me-  Go ahead and force it to bend at an 8 (7,8, 9 being severe pain).

6.  Therapist-  No, no, I'm really concerned about the swelling.

7.  Dr P-  Work Harder!  The elbow gets very stiff easily!  Get your husband to help you push!

(My Husband)

8.  Me-  Baby?  Can you help me floss my teeth?

9.  YL-  Tam, don't forget, you are strong!

(But I don't feel strong, and I have to work harder.)

10a.   Husband-  Well, I'm glad you like your doctors and you understand hard work.

10b.  Husband-  You have to understand, Baby... most people are much shorter than me.

(My Tall Husband)

11.  K-  You've almost turned cast and sling into a fashion statement!

12.  Trace and I chorusing- No, no, no, we don't wear bikinis anymore!

13.  K-  Bruno is doing just fine...

photo credit-  House of Mutt

So all you got to do is focus on yourself.

(Alright then.  Off I go to focus and Work Harder.)

2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

*  Please do not read on if you find images of the bruised human body, too startling.  X

The swelling doesn't quite subside when I can't sleep through the night.

What it's really like to look at my arm resembling an eel?

Utterly  humbling.  I mean, I can't even see my wrist.

Humility is not a bad thing, so off I go practising the rotating movement again and again.

Then adding the hinging exercise...

Bleh.  Here is where poor Humpty hits a wall.  Unlike yesterday, I can't summon my elbow to crease on the 1st count.  Not only did it take a few tries for my hand to lift off, I can't even lift it to yesterday's 'height'.

C'est la vie.  In life, sometimes it's not unwise to stop and acknowledge that wall.

So 2 steps forward yesterday, 1 giant step back today.  

When I teach dance, I like to end on a high note; remind the body, what it can do.

My arm is throbbing and full, and unyielding now.  But my legs?  I can still feel them.

I can't downward dog, plank, crow.  But I can still sit like this.

I think it's called, hero pose.

And I can't upward bow.  But I can modify, to at least stretch out that kink in my shoulders...

When vertical, the combination of blood rushing and gravity tugging gets too much for the poor arm.  So I practise plies on my back.

If you are inspired, try it!  Think of pinning the belly button into the earth as you rotate your legs outwards from the hips, bending and straightening at the knees, feet flexed, heels touching together.

The plie is the beginning and end of possibly every movement we do in dance with the lower limbs.  I like to think of the plie as a prayer.  

Hello, God?  

 God?  I hate core work- it's so boring, and frankly doesn't do anything for my floppy belly, but God, I will keep at it, and quit whining.  Love You, Amen.

Then the process of uncurling the body to stand.

Carefully, re-introducing the bionic arm to the sense of gravity.

Super!  I'm not feeling faint today!

Lastly, giving myself the new challenge of, buttons.  I've not touched buttons since the fall...

Awesome, I managed four buttons!

I think especially in injury, every athlete needs micro challenges to keep sane, and keep focused.

For before I cartwheel or jump back on a horse, I need to be able to walk my Angel dog again, and hold him with tightly, tightly with both arms.